Today’s review is about DYSCALCULIA by Camonghne Felix. It’s a memoir about how early childhood trauma manifested as dyscalculia, a disorder that makes it difficult to learn math. Felix employs dyscalculia as metaphor of her life to showcase miscalculations in her life.
Author: Camonghne Felix
Series: None
Age Category: Adult
Publisher: One World
Publish Date: February 14, 2023
Print Length: 240
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Official Synopsis
When Camonghne Felix goes through a monumental breakup, culminating in a hospital stay, everything–from her early childhood trauma and mental health to her relationship with mathematics–shows up in the tapestry of her healing. In this exquisite and raw reflection, Felix repossesses herself through the exploration of history she’d left behind, using her childhood “dyscalculia”–a disorder that makes it difficult to learn math–as a metaphor for the consequences of her miscalculations in love. Through reckoning with this breakup and other adult gambles in intimacy, Felix asks the question: Who gets to assert their right to pain?
Dyscalculia negotiates the misalignments of perception and reality, love and harm, and the politics of heartbreak, both romantic and familial.
My Review
DYSCALCULIA is the artistic memoir of Camonghne Felix. Felix focuses mainly on the deterioration of her most influential relationship and how her mental health affected her life. She accomplishes this by employing dyscalculia as the overarching metaphor for what she fails to properly calculate in her life.
The premise and concept of this book sounded intriguing. I hoped to learn more about dyscalculia, though I understood the book would be more memoir than a guide about the learning disorder. Ultimately, however, it was difficult for me to sympathetically relate to Felix’s life for a number of reasons. There is no doubt that she had a very difficult time. My review absolutely does not negate the memoir aspect and how she processed it. She experienced sexual assault at a young age from a family member, which threw the trajectory of the rest of her life.
However, I think DYSCALCULIA was too heavy handed with the metaphors for my brain. I can understand metaphors. But it is difficult for me to connect to a medium if it is nearly all a series of metaphors. Furthermore, I feel certain I missed some metaphors because they referred to literature materials that are unfamiliar to me. And I certainly didn’t fully understand how certain mathematical philosophies related to Felix’s experiences because I’m not versed in that topic. I also have a very different lived experience, including cultural background and location. So I’m sure that contributed to my inability to fully comprehend Felix’s metaphorical references. (And that’s ok–I can’t know what I don’t know, but I’m simply relaying my reading experience.) I think if Felix provided the reader with more of a literal background, then the metaphorical prose would have been easier to understand.
I also hoped to learn more about dyscalculia. Felix mentions she experienced this in her childhood after she experienced sexual assault. What was unclear to me is whether dyscalculia is a life-long learning disorder or if this was a trauma response further enhanced by her mental illness. The lack of discussion around this and the ending of the book made me think it was the latter in her case.
All in all, I probably am not the right reader for this book. I’m glad I read it. It was something different for me. However, I think to truly connect with it one has to have a flexible mind with metaphors.
Rating: 3.25
Content warnings: self harm, suicidal thoughts, sexual assault (rape, historical), infidelity, mental illness
Reading format: Library hardback
I have never heard of this affliction before! I would probably have a similar reaction since math isn’t my best subject, but overall it sounds like an interesting idea for a memoir.
I hadn’t either until I read a book about dyscalculia! So at least I learned something on that front!
A really honest review. To the best of my understanding Dyscalculia is a lifelong condition in a similar way to Dyslexia. I’ve known a couple of pupils who have been diagnosed with it in the past. I’ve never heard of it manifesting as a reaction to external events before but that doesn’t mean anything as I’m definitely not an expert.
Thanks, Janette…just keeping it real over here, lol. I don’t know much about dyscalculia either, obviously, but I imagine there are different levels of how much this affects each person?
I think so. I like books that you make you think about things like that though